the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
