Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
