i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
