the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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