you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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