I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
