The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
