Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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