New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
