worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
