First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
