also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
either way he was missing a nipple.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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