yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
