My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
