are you still at the devil's house?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
