Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
