So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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