He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
