whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
