Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize