why didn't you poke me back
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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