He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
