I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
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