How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize