Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
