Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We just shotgunned beers for America
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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