Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
