She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
