went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
