I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
