If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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