They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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