you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
