I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
