Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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