It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
ttyl tear gas
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
