If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
