After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
