never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
