Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
