Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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