but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
