Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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