Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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