That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
