The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
