I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
