I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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