I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
