My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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