It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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