Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
