I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
