She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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