Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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