Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
