Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
