I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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