I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
