dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize