Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
