I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
